Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Ice Storm: 4 Essentials You Don't Want to be Without

The weatherman had the audacity to use the ‘s’ word on the air: ‘snow’! Those of us around here in South Georgia and North Florida know that dem’s fightin’ words. It’s a Yankee invasion all over again. Gov. Deal has put in a diplomatic request for Minnesota to come get this stuff and take it back where it belongs, but I hear negotiations are icy.

I suppose we will have to prepare. Here is a list of essentials:

1) Bread, milk, and eggs.

Everyone knows that the most important thing anyone needs in an emergency is hefty supply of French toast. Please hurry to the store and buy them out. You might want to spring for some cinnamon and syrup, too. Oh, and maybe some powdered sugar.

2) Deodorant

Ice is heavy. It knocks over trees. Which knock over power lines. Which renders hot water heaters useless. Which leads to stinky people. Stock up on deodorant. Those with teenagers should grab at least three and double up on the French toast supplies, too.

3) Board games

You will need a fair way to determine who goes first when it’s time to resort to cannibalism. I recommend something fairly straight forward like Chutes and Ladders. Candyland would not be advisable here. When people are already salivating over you, you don’t want them thinking of food any more than they already are. If you have a significant knowledge of random information, you might want to aim for trivia-style games. Here’s where your expertise in sci-fi celebrities of the 1970s can really be helpful.

4) Flashlights

No matter the emergency, there is always a run on flashlights despite the fact that there was a run on them during the last emergency three months ago. Where did all the flashlights go? It’s simple. They shrank, just like wool sweaters and favorite jeans shrink. Between hurricane season and ice storms, while no one is looking, they migrate under the bed and slowly waste away. I hear this happens with snow shovels, too. Please help spread the word. Tool Migration Awareness benefits us all.

Dear reader, do be sensible, prepare, and act wisely. The Red Cross and other websites have great recommendations on what supplies you should have on hand during bad weather. Keep safe and stay warm.


  1. Thanks for making us laugh! This is our first winter in Tallahassee after way too many in Cleveland, Ohio. Our friends are starting to accuse us of bringing this down with us. I promise that was not our intention! :)